it's either sadness or euphoria

It was brought to my attention that I haven't updated in a few days. So-while my head it's still a little throbbing I don't feel nealy as hideous as I have all day.
Yesterday I went to school for the last of my J-term course meetings. It was exciting. Spent most of the day back in the back of the room BSing with the boys. As far as work goes I didn't do much for the course I just hope to get decent credit for it. I felt hideous all day and came home and went to sleep right away. This morning I woke up turned on the TV-there's a 48 hr All in the Family marathon and I've watched about 20 hours or had it on that much. I've been asleep most of the day. I feel just icky.
SO anyway-went to Knoxville on a whim on Wednesday. It's under 3 hours-which falls into my acceptable road trip range. The night was fun. I got there in time to see an in-store and make a new friend-a shorty that called me "that girl" and wanted to walk around the store with me and look at the pictures (posters). I had no idea children could be so fun to be around-she spoke so clearly and made sense as opposed to being little and crazy. Which is how I usually think of children.
Then J took me to the Redneckinest Bar in Redneck Town-scary lookin joint off the wrong road and then two wrong turns and straight into 1982. I was by far the most attractive person in the bar. All the men had mullets and the women were all bottle blondes with home perms. The jukebox played Patsy Cline and other old country songs that no jukebox has had stocked for decades. The air was so full of smoke it was impossible to make out if there was anyone on the other side of the room---there were only about 8 people in the whole place. I ordered a Shiner Bock and the woman looked at me like I was from outer space. She said I looked about 16 and that I sure wasn't from "these parts" was I? Er, no-thankfully. If I was from those parts I'd be forced to root for UT and that is just WRONG.
SO-then me and J went to this brew house across from the club to get brews and pizza pie. J is a good old guy-and I know he's harmless,but I get a little tired of how he gropes on me all the time. Not just because he's old, but because it always feels to me like he's going to accidentally on purpose slip his hands somewhere they don't belong. Yet, I trust him completely he's a good friend-he's just a dirty old man. He's mostly harmless afterall. Just wish he'd keep his hands to himself is all.
Right-then JK came along with a couple friends and then D and a friend of his-showed up and it was a party after all. Lots of delicious beverages and pizza and fun we were fully ready to get down by the time we were finished eating. It felt good to be at a table full of people far away from trouble.
When the show started-the Avett's set-I went outside to get some air because it was smoky and stifling in the club. Something came over me and I went into a coma. I just sat there-by this heat lamp-watching people walk in. I couldn't move or think I just sat there for about 10 minutes.
The BR set was fun-enjoyed it immensely. After the show I did the roaming thing-wandered around nothing special. I took off late-was probably a little lit but I felt tired more than anything. I'd asked around for a place to stay but there wasn't any opportunities--my luck for asking a bunch of men to put up a chick. But it's okay. The phone rang when I was barely on the road. THAT was a number I thought wouldn't come up on my phone again. There we'd been in the same place 4 times over the course of the week and hardly ever talked-we spent 2 hours on the phone I was nearly home when we hung up. My ear was hot enough I was sure it was going to fall off from whatever poisonous rays phones give off. But it didn't.
I got home and went to bed then got up and drove to Bowling Green to meet E for coffee. Well, I had tea. She had coffee. I told her about my evening and all the the ways of the redneck I had taken on (for example using the phrase "Y'all reckon we need 'nother round a High Life?")
"Welcome back to Bowling Green," she said. Why do people keep saying that to me?
The only other worth mentioning thing from that meeting-at least wort mentioning that isn't somewhat either confidential or up in the air and not worth mentioning is that I had to explain why I was somewhat unprepared with a speil about why I was good idea for a sponsorship for an independent study. Course that reason was that I have been somewhat horribly depressed despite all my continuing to survive and do what I'm supposed to do.
She was very sorry. I've grown to understand that facial expression beter than I ever would've wanted to know what that look means. We talked about pets that had passed, a very sad conversation. When I got home that evening there was an email telling me again how sorry she was and that she would be making a donation to the Humane Society in his memory. I cried, and the next day when I got the letter saying that the donation had been made I cried again. Bless her. Bless everyone for all they have done for me. It doesn't alleviate the pain-but I feel less alone and helpless at any rate.
I hope I'm not sick-the last couple of days would say that it is a good chance. My head aches-course-All in the Family is a loud show lots of yelling and Gloria (how talentless she is-good lord-esp compared to the rest of the cast who were superb) wails like a banshee every episode.
Time to go to sleep again.