I'm down on my knees behind the 31W Texaco

In which I recount the events of my trip home...if I can manage to do so...
The highpoints seem like the only way I can get through this...
Everyone but me got sick right IChristmas.
So I provided my best known sickness cure----Bourbon Toddies. I bought a 750mL of bourbon and made some delicious hot toddies for Mum and Mik. Then I got into the fun--case I was getting sick...Must've worked-cuz I didn't get sick..And the whole bottle of bourbon was gone in about an hour...Good times...Good times...I don't think Ma had ever had bourbon before funny-ha.

Then it was Christmas. The family descended en masse to the house---the place was loud and alive and vital it was awesome---the yelling and laughing and eating everyone in the living room and kitchen sounding like dozens more people than we were. The crowd lasted until past 10pm it felt good. If I weren't so depressed I would talk about my cousin putting back box of wine-all the Smithwicks and Sam Adams I drank and all the ham and bread and pie we all ate and I would talk abouta discussion about how some of our family can live entirely on meals of a single heart of palm and a glass of water while others among us like brownies...I really like brownies----wish I had some now.

Then it was Mik's birthday and everyone was sick...Well, I wasn't sick---but mostly people were sick...

We shopped for clothes for the wedding.
We went to a Todd show up in Cleveland-it was an awesome show. I meant to tell him that when I saw him next but I was too busy trying to decide what kind of couscous to buy---it took me five minutes to choose couscous---there were three kinds---I just stood there looking at the shelf like the boxes were alien entities written in a previouly unencountered language---I can only assume this will get worse before it gets better...I contemplated avocados for nearly as long. There's only one kind of avocado.
He sang "Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother" and as the crowd yelling "Kissing (Kicking) hippies asses and raising..." he sang: "Conservative Christian Right Wing Republican Straight White American Males..." Lovely. Seamless.
There was more shopping-I bought many clothes. Lots of Calvin Klein and Donna Karan and way expensive name brands---for next to nothing--- Mik bought a pair of $180 jeans for $7---no, I can't tell you where this store is-as you might start shopping there which would mean the sales would surely become less sale-a-rific.

My cousin got married on New Years Eve. This little church in 5 miles from nowhere Ohio held the ceremony. I was in the basement leaving the restroom-my aunt was in the hall-she kissed me hello (I understand some families don't do this---I find that odd---but then, I understand that many people may find it odd how close and affectionate my family is--as far apart as we are--I hate how far apart we are sometimes) she took me by the hand and pulled me into the tiny classroom where the bride and the bridesmaids were standing nervously about waiting for their cues. They all looked beautiful I hugged them hello-I was afraid to touch A-she was so perfect looking I was afraid I would ruin that. They checked that she had something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Aunt T and I headed upstairs-she took me right to the front of the church so there we were acting terribly non-chalant--fine for her but I was embarassed.
The reception was a huge and wonderful party-the food was good, the music was thoroughly danceable and while the bartenders couldn't uncork a wine bottle they also didn't have a good idea of how to mix a drink so I spent most of the night drinking ultra sweet Sloe Gin Fizzes (yummy! and the drink of the evening it seemed---I never saw so much pink being ingested in one evening) and ultra strong diets and Jack. I had a wonderful time---dancing like a damn fool, shaking my lady lumps with the best of them. During Paradise by the Dashboard Light the song I remember distinctly being the tune the ended my dreaded miserable sucktacular prom-everyone was singing and dancing and being insane. I was screaming at the top of my lungs "So now I'm praying for the end of time..." various relatives and near relatives and people I don't know from Adam screamed the lyrics along with me-by this point no one was even bothering putting down their drinks opting instead to juggle alcohol and dance with a skill only the truly inebriated can manage. A just swigged from a bottle of champagne and I-despite a painful coughing attack-could not bring myself to stop ingesting my adult beverage.
Other favorite moment-the DJ called for all the hillbillies to come out on the dancefloor and started playing the Cotton Eyed Joe dance remix from the day--I remember this song primarily for it's constant presence on the sound system for the longer rides at Cedar Point. I got out on the floor and began doing the one dance I do well-I began to jig-with a vigor usually reserved for the not sound of mind---or those that have recently attended a performance of Riverdance. "So you're a hillbilly huh?" asked my cousin by marriage. "Are you surprised?" I laughed as we hopped around like goofballs. My aunt tried to copy my dance steps-but my mad moves are patented and not to be toyed with.
On the way home I read the JAF and Mom discussed making a fence out of used computer parts---trust me this is strange--I haven't the energy to explain also it wouldn't be interesting unless you're a folknerd.
Don't be a folknerd-it's unpretty.

It was the new year. Nothing changed for me tho I suppose for others it did. Not my story. I cried a lot and I did laundry. On Tuesday I went south and got to BG at 4:30. In the front of the building I told about Bax."Would you want to get a dog?" I don't know-why, do you have a spare? The lonelier among us compared notes-I win-I live alone in a closet in East Nashville without a relationship and now I have no dog. Was sitting with the other folkies making lovely and charming comments about same such as "Don't be a girl, hitch across the country" and repeatedly slapping people that deserved it. "Welcome back to Bowling Green."
In true fashion we went to Mariah's for drinks.
We all got a night older-it happens in Bowling Green. Thank God I don't live there.
I got home in time for the Colbert Report. I fell asleep on the couch and finally went to bed at 3am.
Thank to kacigrrl for calling and checking on me.
Oh-and I got a new computer for the Yule. It's a laptop-60gig hard drive 512 processor wifi DVD/CDRW less than 6lbs 15 inch screen. It's very nice-my Dad, who should be nominated for Sainthood-put up with me shopping compulsively for the right machine for over 2 weeks. At one point I chose a computer that was the same as the one he'd had stolen last fall. Did I talk about that? He had a thinkpad stolen and it was written off as a loss-it was old anyway-like, 2 years. So, I had Bax out for a walk and we were going to the "dog park" (really a drained lake-drained since I was a little girl--it's been a long time since it was a lake) and I tripped, quite literally over the keyboard. We certainly did laugh-stupid criminals couldn't hack the IBM security. Ha ha funny.
I have to go back to work tomorrow. Presuming I can get out of bed. I have to get an independent study approved by someone really soon. Presuming I can get out of bed. Most everything is contingent upon me dragging my depressed self out of bed.
At least The Daily Show is new...I have that