You'll age ten years in 19 days
Pardon me while I have a screaming fit-
OMIGOD OMIGOD OH NOEZ OH NOEZ!!!!
Some people that have tickets don't even get into the Colbert report. If I don't get in then I will probably walk into the East River or the Hudson-whichever's closer.
Geography isn't my strong suit.
I'm spending the last of the money that is keeping me alive to go see Stephen Colbert and not getting in would mean that I've spent a mothafuckin' month's rent to sleep in a crummy bunk bed and eat day old bagels (which I am sure, are the the nth power better than any of the bagels available in the South) and fear for my general safety in New York City.
What the fuck am I doing? I am so screwed. I'm going to end up spending my entire last day in New York City sitting outside of the studio because I am so goddamn obsessive compulsive that arriving fewer than 4 hours early will lead me to a panic attack. I'd better pack some cigarettes-I'm sure this whole thing will have me smoking and I sure as hell can't afford to buy smokes in NYC.
Fuck me in the ass with a lit cigar. This is far too stressful for me. I have no money and I'm going to one of the most expensive cities in the world. I'm going to one of the most cut-throat popular hard to get into shows currently being broadcast on basic cable or elsewhere and I'm doing in the midst of a nervous breakdown. Oh boy-this is gonna be bloody fun, isn't it? Oh, and lest we forget, I'm without a place to stay that night as I have a very early flight out the next morning so I might well be carrying all of my worldly possessions with me as well. Oh goody!
Shite, what have I got myself into?
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