Driven by an unknown force

Twilight Zone marathons are simultaneously the greatest way to waste a holiday and one of the worst ideas ever. I've seen every episode ~ 7 dozen times. The irony factor is gone. But I watch. And watch. And lay on the couch and keep right on watching. Big fun. Just like most things I do.

The sister person got an early start and was in Cashville by 1:30. She handed me a cat, said something resembling hello, walked to the fridge, pulled out a beer, sat down on the couch and said "I don't want to watch The Twilight Zone. What else have you got?"

We watched the Todd Snider DVD until she said we didn't want to watch that anymore but wanted to go sit outside so that she could smoke cigarettes. I usually don't go outside when the Stupid Bitch is home. Don't want to give her the option to speak to me or anything. Not only was Stupid Bitch home, she had a bunch of Stupid Ass Relatives at the house. Just my very image of hell.

The Stupid Bitch never had much fondness for Mik. For whatever reason. But Stupid Bitch can choke on shit on die. I don't have any fondness for the Stupid Bitch. But I don't let it show.

Despite my basic rule of not letting the Stupid Bitch see me ever, I followed Mik out. She smoked. We drank beer. I don't advertise that I ingest alcohol to the Stupid Bitch, because that qualifies as information about me and all I want her to know about what I do with my life these days is that whatever it is it provides me with money to pay my rent so that she can leave me the fuck alone. G-d, I hate her so much. But, I try to be nice. I waved at her when she was walking her dog last night. She didn't wave back. What a cow. State sponsored institution is too good for her.

So. Mik and I were sitting outside, in the front yard, under the tree. We discussed exactly what makes a fop and why is foppishness so attractive. This was our regularly scheduled "Hugh Grant is so awesome and I don't know WHY!" conversation. It's been going on for years. One day, I assume, we'll figure it out. We also tried to figure out how to pronounce Bill Nighy's name and the relative merits of Liev Shreiber and Eric Borgosian. We also talked much too long about American Theatre. Which I know more about the state of than she does. Oh, irony. She doesn't care. I have nothing better to do. OK, I probably do. But not better enough to actually inspire me to do it.

The Rose Pepper was closed for the holiday. So, I went up to the Piggly Wiggly and bought a can of beans and we had the tradition 4th of July meal of spaghetti, kale and white beans and bruscetta. Followed by soy ice cream. Deeee-licious!
It was decided that leaving the house was overrated. Besides, there were the cats and dog to consider. It's possible they might realize that they were from different, warring species and that would be bad.

I turned on a Quantum Leap DVD and started watching an episode where Sam was a rabbi. (Not one of my favorites. But it was alright. The next episode, Jimmy, was great. Love that one.) Mik was asleep in no time. She slept through four episodes. (Yes, I watched 4 episodes of Quantum Leap AFTER watching I have no idea how many episodes of the Twilight Zone. I am that cool.) When she woke up (after the Man of La Mancha episode, the episode that has cursed me with having the title "I am I Don Quixote! The Lord of La Mancha!" song going through my head all bloody day long) she complained that it was really fuckin' dark and what the hell? Geez, kid, wouldn't know. Not like you've been asleep for four hours or anything. Must be a storm coming. Batten down the hatches.

She was hungry again, so she scrounged for food. Then she told a couple of dirty jokes. No. I don't know why. I drank another beer.

A kitten has taken up residence in my yard. I've been trying to sneak up on it and catch it and I will take it in and I will love it and hug it and call it George. But kitten is wile e. Mik took some of Steve and Jeff's treats and we went out on a kitten hunt. The rednecks in the hood were firing off fireworks. It was a pretty impressive display for the location. I crawled on the ground, my only light coming from streetlights down the block and the flash of bottle rockets, trying to capture that pussy cat. But it would not be caught! No kitty would have none of that! We must have looked pretty damn funny, laying flat on our stomachs staring under the car watching the movements of a eency wittle kitty puss.

She did my dishes. But then, she made that gigantic meal and used 17 pans and left a stack of dirty dishes in the sink and every time she wanted more ice cream she got a new spoon. But I can't complain because I really didn't want to do anything but hang out and watch DVDs anyway. So, other than the Stupid Bitch being present factor it was a pretty ideal day, really. At some point we sang 'Guitar Town' and I booked her a hotel room for Baton Rouge. The trip involves driving through all these towns with exotic names. Meridian and Opelousus and Baton Rouge and places that turn up in songs. She should be within 2 hours of there, now. I hope she gets there without any problem. Those poor cats. They'll be so happy to get home to their new place and have their Mommy and Daddy together finally. Then, they'll be Texas CowCats. That's what she says they'll be: Steve and Jeff, the CowCats. She regretted not buying them little cowboy hats. I bet they didn't feel the same way.

The fireworks kept Coupland up all night. He, in turn, shared his feelings about this with Mik. Who couldn't sleep through his diatribe. I could. He was in the living room with her. Ha! Steve came in and slept with me. Ha! Again.

This morning, Mik got up at 4:30 and I stumbled, confused and disoriented, out of bed 10 minutes later. She was on the road by 5:30 and I somehow managed to get to work by 8. I kept trying to go back to sleep.

Big exciting visit, eh? One of the biggest and most exciting.
I'm just waiting for the Stupid Bitch to call and say something about something that only makes sense to her. I've decided to stop taking her calls and just let them go to voicemail and only listen to those when I'm in a really good mood. But I just dare her to say something about how she doesn't approve of our actions and that we angered the King of the Potato People.

That's that, really. I guess that she and J got some furniture for their place. Leather! HA HA! And a TV. I got paid today. Or will tomorrow. I dunno. I had to re-re-re-do the month end hospice numbers today and that gave me the start of a migraine/tension/just stop buttering that toast so loud will you? headache thing. I was fine until then.

I have to have something to complain about. It gives me the will to carry on.