Down by the riverside there's got to be a better ride than what you got planned

Here's a fun conundrum for you:
I have nothing to say. That is, I don't want to talk about myself. I don't particularly want to have a conversation. Yet-I would like to have someone to talk to. About nothing and at no great length. I don't want to divulge pieces of my personality or my thoughts on anything. I wouldn't mind talking about American Idol or Anna Nicole or something else that doesn't mean anything. That's why I'm not calling the person I was talking to last week. He wants to know about me. I don't have anything to say about myself. As far as I'm concerned there' nothing to say. I did call and say that. I thought it was a good out. I thought anyone would understand that "I haven't had anything to say to anybody for a few days. Don't take it personally, I just don't feel like talking" was not the sort of thing a person that is good company would say. Guess not. Now I'm officially avoiding his calls. I don't want to. I want the calls to just stop. Really, I don't want any new relationships. I'd ask why I keep meeting people that do, and want one with me at that, but it would be silly of me to think that my view of human interaction is the norm. I understand from books and movies that most people enjoy the company of others. Would it be too harsh to change my VM message to "I'm sorry the number you are dialing is out of service. Please check the number and try again"? They usually give up eventully. It's waiting until then that's annoying. I almost feel guilty. But mostly, I'm just annoyed.

I am a terrible, terrible person. Don't even know why I do things like that. It's shameful.

The point of this is-I don't want to have a conversation but I would like to have someone to talk to. I have little in the way of casual acquaintances (zero-to be precise). I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy either. If my mood was a color-it would be light gray.