You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy

My weekend. Oh, it was such fun. Woo, the fun knows no bounds. Look-I'm almost in a coma describing it.
I love Ellen's suit. She's adorable. Girl next door crush.
Helen Mirren gets sexier each time she appears onscreen. Is there a sane person on the planet that isn't hot for her right now? Can't imagine that there is. Total GMILF right there. She should read stage directions more often. Wow. I need an audio recording of that.
Oh, I'm only talking about the women. None of my movie star boyfriends seem to be there. Not Hugh Grant. Where's he? He was so charming at the Golden Globes. Not as charming as Hugh Laurie--but really, to be one of the top charming British Hughs whose projects I'll watch uncritically whilst lusting after-that's an achievement. Actually, there's only two. But they're both fan-TAST-ic. Hugh Grant gets the longer crush. But Hugh Laurie gets more intensity.
Johnny Depp doesn't seem to be there either. What's that about? Is he sick and unable to ooze sex by simply being? That would bring great sadness to my soul. I watched "The Libertine" today. If he ever manages to be hotter than at the start of that movie then the movie will actually have to come with a warning.

The guy I've been talking with flat out asked me if I'm gay today. I told him I'm not. He probably should've worded that question different if he'd wanted a completely honest answer, though. I basically dislike both genders equally. But from my usual distance-I'm extremely open-minded sexually. (No one that reads this is surprised by that, right?)
I'm really looking forward to the chance to describe my hobby for reading gay porn fanfiction. Because I'm just that unpleasant. And, it would seem, incapable of dishonesty in the traditional 'getting to know you' manner. That's painful.

I love awards ceremonies. Pomp and circumstance amuse me to no end. The kind of thing I doubt people suspect from me. Kind of like my AI addiction and fondness for Judge Judy. It just doesn't jibe with the way people seem to perceive me.

Hmmm-Ellen looks even better in that white suit. Classy.

Otherwise my weekend was uneventful. Didn't spend much time at Grimey's because too many people were there and I only crowd for very special people. Besides I was throwing off the age curve.
The storm depressed Little Dog to no end. He sang a mournful song throughout the whole weather event. During the AI auditions we played a game called "Coupland auditions for American Idol" went like this:
Coupland: (think high pitch Cartman--like Towlie) *waving his paws in the air, like he just don't care* Let's get it on! Let's get it on!
Paula: Oh honey...You seem very sweet...
Randy: Dawg...Wow, dawg...That's...what were you thinkin' Dawg?
Simon: Simply awful.
Coupland: Should I try another song? 'All along the watchtower..."
Simon: No. Stop. Just stop. You're terrible.
Coupland: *tries to flip Simon off, has no fingers* *storms off all indignant and shit*
It's a real fun game. Later, we're going to play "Coupland's Oscar speech." We're both looking forward to May and playing "Coupland wins American Idol." I have no life.

Returning to my total lack of life now. I've got about 4 Girl Scout cookies from the box I bought from the little demons today that I need to argue with myself about whether or not to eat tonight. I don't have any willpower either.

ETA: Mmmmm George Clooney...yummy. At least one of my movie star eye candy favorites is there. (Like Helen Mirren, is there a person on the planet that doesn't want to ride him like a pony at the carnival?)
Jennifer Hudson was sweet. I'm glad she won. Hope she makes another decent movie in her career.