Wouldn't seem like a heaven to me

You know what this blog has been lacking? Rants. Fucking angry, pissed off, violent, raging against the motherfucking machine rants. And do you know why? Because I've been so goddam good. Saving my money, staying in, not doing anything wild or interesting. Just being so careful. Paying off all my bills. Much too dull for rants.
And then-
Oh yes, m'dears, and THEN! I turn around today-oh happy day!-and my bank credit card has a 13 cent finance charge on it. Jigga-waaahh? 13 cents? I haven't used that card since July. I'm even more confused, maybe I have a 13 cent credit? That makes as much sense as my apparent decision to go out and buy two Red Hot Fireballs and put them on my freakin' Mastercard. Furthersoddingmore, when was my credit line raised from $2000 to $6000? Why didn't anyone tell me? WTF is that 13 cent charge or credit or whateverthehell it is? I didn't even make $6000 last year-that seems like an excessive line of credit.
OH! And lest I forget Dish Network is being a bastard and pissing me off. It would seem, and I don't pay attention to this shit because if I think about it too much I'll probably start cancelling all of my amenities until I'm living in a van down by the river as penance for my inability to keep track of my bills, that last month Dish didn't bill me. So this month I have a $120 bill. That's 2 months of service that I'm just supposed to have the money laying around to pay?
OK, yes, I do. I am in no financial straits. I work, I bring home a predictable check. I don't spend my money on much. There's not much I want or need. As long as I have TV and Internet and a non-stop stream of music then I'm happy. Everything else (things that contribute to outward appearances for example) can be covered with what little is left over. I like nice things, I would rather scrimp until I can have a nice thing (or even better-deal and connive until I get a good deal for a nice thing) but I just want to know
WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE MAGICAL MYSTERY BILLS?
This can't happen to everyone. The world would be populated by insane people mumbling to themselves that the Kaiser has stolen their string. The only reason I'm sane is that I expect to get fucked over. That's the way life is. Life sucks, but it's the only chance we get. If you're a miserable person then that's it, you're a miserable person. You don't get another chance. There probably isn't an eternity to spend enjoying all the stuff that you ignored in your quest to hate people while on the planet. If there is anything it's probably a continuation of this life. So, I expect to get screwed and when it happens I'm not surprised. To not have something like this happen on a monthly basis would be far more surprising. That would alter my entire perception of reality.
So, I can take that every 4-6 weeks (usually when I'm PMS-ing because G-d has a twisted sense of humor) I'll have a day like today when I get strange and unexplained bills in the mail. Then, I get to be all rant-y and rave-y and wish I had a cigarette to calm my nerves. Or drugs, or, and this is just something I've read about in books and seen in movies, a healthy outlet for my frustrations that managed to give me faith that every little thing is gonna be alright.
Don't worry about a thing
Every little thing
Is gonna be alright
Don't worry
About a thing...