There are times I can't tell if it's day or night

Plane ticket-booked
Hotel-booked
Show ticket-booked
Ability to back out of this now-not applicable

I'm goin to Chicago-up until about 20 minutes ago I thought I might crap out
The Southside of Chicago...I have an urge to sing Paper Lace greatest hit. Tho I just realized that Daddy was a cop on the East side of Chicago. Not the Southside...there's a Black 47 song about the South Side of Chicago but I don't have the lyrics handy. I might find them before I finish the post...ahhh, found it and amended the title accordingly.
Here I am a miserably broke and rotten girl and spending a wad of cash to go to a show. Honestly-I should've been stopped. But I wasn't-so what the fuck, you know, what the fuck. It's another few dollars on a credit card and a little bit more debt to contend. Another debt and bill to pay-at this point it doesn't matter. What matter is not sleeping life away. Being mad once in awhile, holding on to the fire I have even in the face of the rain of reality that's what keeps me sane. OK-sane-ish. I make no promises as to the level of my sanity. I'm probably quite mad.
I've decided to return the offending party to my Dead to Me list. She's also Dead to Both of My Parents. I would love to drop out of this program. I just don't care anymore-I want to just let someone else win. But I also REALLY LIKE the subject matter and actually care about the field...so as much as I want to, I can't give up. I hate how my rational mind (or as I like to call him, Daddy) fixes these things so they're unavoidable. Mummy didn't make me think I should drop out-she got very angry and wanted me to fight-and I wanted so much to believe that I should stand up for myself about how lousy I have sometimes been treated by this program. When it's good it's very good and when it's bad it's horrid. But Da-well, he isn't angry or beaten he just wants me to finish the program because logically (I think he might be Vulcan) I owe it to myself to finish this task. Besides, we have a graduation party to have-whether it's in May or August there WILL be a graduation party. Even if it doesn't mean shite to me right now...it will eventually. With God on my side.
Otherwise:
WHen I was talking to Daddy today I said "I swear on the head of my dog...oh that's blasphemous." I laughed.
Cope and I went to the Dog Park today where he met a German Shepherd/Wolf and Cope was all like "I am SO bigger than you MR. Wolf Dog, bring it!" and Wolf Dog was like, "OH, hello tapas." Then there was this Chinese crested Yorkshire thing and he kept trying to have his way with my dog and it was horrifying at least Coupland fought back and didn't go ghey on me. Or, like, gheyer. Little dude had much fun at the Dog Park-he ran and ran and was psycho like little dogs do. People kept saying things like "That's my dog-his name is KoKo or Fluffyface or Poochie or Mr. DoggieFaceHead, what's your dog's name" and I would say "Coupland" and they'd be like, "OH-Coupland...ok...kewl..." It was really the highlight of my day....otherwise the day was a little too weird for me.