Pleased to meet you-hope you guess my name

As of right now I am so deeply tired, in so much physical pain and so deeply distraught about the exam on Wed that it is taking all that I have to not cry. It is a horrible feeling-but I don't want to give into that emotion. It's unnecessary and childish, or at the very least inappropriate. I have no comfortable reaction to my emotions right now. They are, it seems to me, natural, but they are in no way acceptable. I can't be this upset. I know I'm not going to pass-not my comps or my portfolio and perhaps not my classes this semester. I know that-but I am so-just-upset. I'm just upset.
No.
I'm scared.
Terrified.
And not strong enough for this.
No matter what I might've said before-I'm not strong enough to deal with this.
Oh my God-how am I going to do this?
I can't do it. I just can't.
I know I should walk away-try to rest my body and my mind but I'm afraid that what if what I read tonight is my last best chance to get the information I don't know into my head? What if there's one article that will answer the question I need to know?
There's too much to do and not enough time.
I need so much more time-time to do this degree right and not be so fucking behind on everything now-time to not have to work so hard and not waste so much time being tired and angry and just do the work and keep up with everything I should've done. I want to do it right-I've done it all wrong.
I need a mulligan.
Please, could we start again?
Please?