Is there life on Mars?

In an odd fit of peculiar I found myself longing ridiculously for a Mars Bar. Now, I've had Mars Bars on 2 continents and I had no memory of either. They're a candy, they involve chocolate and I think nougat beyond that I had no clear recollection. After all, what difference does it make once you get past the main attractions?
A bit of research finally cleared up the Mars Bar confusion. The Mars Bar the Brits speak of is a Milky Way on this side of the pond. Delicious. The Mars Bars I enjoyed as a youth are Snickers with Almond.
As I type this, gnawing on a Milky Way, I can't help but wonder if perhaps I've completely gone off my gourd. Candy bar quests can't be healthy. Or normal. For anyone but stoners. The woman at the ghetto mart had to think I was stoned. Showing up 2 minutes before close with a small dog in tow walking straight to the candy aisle, not browsing but grabbing a Milky Way. That's the actions of a person heading home to catch Half Baked on Comedy Central. Hell, someone that does that probably OWNS Half Baked.
But I just like candy.
Did I ever tell the story of the first time I had candy? Well, I'm going to tell it again-so deal.
When I was a baby Mummy and Daddy (my guess is Mummy mostly) didn't allow unnatural sugar in the house. Homemade baby food, yogurt, peanut butter-nothing unnatural was allowed in the house. I had never tasted anything but natural food-my parents were quite happy about this. I was three years old and my Aunt Terri and Uncle Jim (2 of my favorite people--even if Ole Unc-y is a CCRWRSWAM he may be an ass but he's sincere) took me for the afternoon. Where I have no idea-but I suspect the Kwik-E-Mart was one of the stops because when I got home Mum and Dad asked what we'd done on our day. I responded by running around like a crazy small child high on candy yelling "Candy bar! Candy bar!"
Now I am being taunted by the urge to purchase more material by a certain transvestite British comedian with whom I have an unhealthy fascination(more than Stephen you ask-don't be silly, I want nothing but their appearance together. Jam Flavored Slash-y Truth covered in BEES!) --passes out briefly in a fit of happisexiness--Yeh, so, right...I have this sudden urge to go shopping on Amazon.com-buy some Glorious, some Velvet Goldmine on DVD, maybe a little Strangers with Candy and Indecision 2004 to amuse me.
Somebody hide my credit card.
Sugar High! Wine drunk!
WEEEE!!!!!

BTW-I edited this-having discovered that blogger hates me and likes to make my already non-sensical posts make even less sense for its own amusement.
It was written under the influence of sugar and wine-but really-I don't change topics that quickly. Usually-Hedwig and the Angry Inch is weird as fuck and thus I think I need to own the soundtrack.
Pie!