Champion of the World

12:15pm. Wednesday. April 12, 2006. I was making pot pie, one veggie and one chicken. All My Children was on telly. The computer was on, as it always is, despite my promise to myself that I would refrain from checking my email until I had returned from my shift at the rib barn of Gomorrah. This had seemed like a doable thing last night. Course, last night I'd gone to 2 for 1 Yazoo beers at one of the locals and ended up drinking too much eating too little and having to talk with one of the men that find me attractive. A nice guy-but it is so typical, he's slightly overweight, a nerd, probably lists Jeneane Garofalo as his perfect woman. They're all the same, men that want to get in my trousers. I'm over it. SO-ANYWAY-I was a little wacky when I made that promise to myself. Obviously I couldn't do it. I can't go for an hour without checking my email if I'm at home.
The deadline for grades for comps was noon. That's why I was making pot pie. Similar to cleaning house instead of studying for finals. I hit refresh. There it was-"You have 1 new message." I clicked the link. There was the title "comps." I clicked it, shaking, terrified of what I would see. An attachment, nothing else. I couldn't breathe, I was so terrified. The terror I was feeling was unlike anything else-I've been afraid, I've been horrified, but I've never felt like that and I presume I never will again. I'd rather not at any rate. I clicked the attachment, to open it. I couldn't read it-I was crying, because I knew what I was going to read "We regret to inform you..." I called Mum. The phone rang, and rang and the attachment loaded and opened and I read it. I passed. I passed comps. Mum answered the phone.
"Hello."
"Ma...." I gaaped. I truly had gotten the news just as she answered the phone. Simultaneous. No time digest-I had been thinking I had failed and would need comfort.
"Ma, I..."
"What? Oh my God, what!"
"I passed, Ma! I passed comps!"
"Oh my God, What?"
I tried to breathe, but because it wasn't the news I'd been expecting it was difficult. "I passed my comprehensive exam. I just got the letter."
It only took her about 15 minutes to regain her compusure. I think she thought someone was dead, not that something good had happened. I should've digested the news first. Before calling. But I wasn't supposed to pass-that's all-someone had to fail, someone nearly always does and it stands to reason I would be the one to fail. Because I'm a loser--that and the fact that I quoted Strangers With Candy in my essay. Somehow, I thought that would ruin my chances. Maybe it was too vague a quote-tho Mik got it right off when I referenced it and she'd only seen the show once. Course, it was the previous day...but it was from the opening credits...so there's that. But I'd come up with 3,000 reasons why I would fail and none as to why I would succeed.
I celebrated by putting on a polo shirt and selling tourists ribs and alcohol-like ya do.
Tomorrow, I get to go to school and hopefully see similar relief in the faces of my peers.