S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

Oh my God. This better not be my proudest moment. I'm watching C-Span just for what will probably be a 10 minute Stephen-monologue. The level of pride I'm feeling right now-in myself and what I've done with my life cannot be measured. Wait-I almost forgot, not only do I have C-Span on, but I have the live stream and I'm participing in chats about the White House Correspondent's Dinner.
Later, I will break my decade long SNL boycott to watch the Ambiguously Gay Duo host a TV Funhouse Retrospective.
This is deeply sad. Just deeply sad.
Isn't it FUN?
Any work I might've done tonight will have to be done some other time.

And to make matters worse, he went over like a Led Zeppelin. Either he wasn't funny (do I really know at this point if he is?) or the crowd was lame. Honestly, not speaking as a member of the Colbert Nation-I think it's hard to make fun of people that don't know you're making fun of them to said people's faces.

A case study:

"Want to see the picture I'm going to put on a t-shirt to wear to graduation?" I asked.
"Well, yeah" said everyone.
"Here it is, with the message "Johnny Cash has this message to give to the Dept of Folk Studies"
"Nice," said the unfortunately near enough to the screen to see the picture professor.
"You knew I feel that way didn't you?"
"Yes."

I related this to Mik.

"Subversive action is a good thing-but I think you should refrain from being directly ire raising.
"Are you saying my revamped idea to have a shirt that says 'Johnny Cash would like to send this message to Dead to Me and Never Existed to Me (author's note-names witheld to protect me from Google search, they would be on the shirt)" I laughed.
She took a drag on her cigarette, "Speaking as one who knows, let me tell you, that the small amount of joy you would take from that would not outweigh the repercussions."
"But the joy would be so iMEDiate!"
"There has to be a better way."
"I could shave my head. That would be subversive. But I was kind of saving that for the wedding."
"You really want to add to the fact that you'll be wearing a lime green tea dress by shaving your head?"
"If it draws attention away from the lime green tea dress, yes. I'm willing to do it. If it means losing ten pounds or gaining fifty, anything to distract people from the fact that I'm the odd attendant out-I mean, come on, I'll have to walk down the aisle alone because there's more female attendants than male!- And I'm in a wedding that at best will end with the bride having a meltdown somewhere between "Who gives this woman" and "I know pronounce..."
"We're not even having a conversation anymore. What, you'd gain 50 pounds? There's no discussion here."
"Sure, for you, you don't have to be in the wedding."
She put out her cigarette and signalled for the check. "You've stopped making sense."

Jon Stewart didn't go over at some press thing last year. He didn't go over like whoa.
And there's that time I bombed my portfolio.
Lik Hiroshima only with less death and more cheese.
We all have our bad personal appearances.
And in a perfect world Stephen and Jon and George Clooney and I would all go out for a beer and we'd toast how awesome and not 100% appreciated by everyone all the time we are, despite our adoring fans and overwhelming superior level of intelligence compared to most. Then something sexual, deviant and inappropriate would happen.
Oh wait! That's not a perfect world that's a slash fic world. I don't live in that world. Oh, and later on Denis Leary and Eddie Izzard would show up. We'd all drink Jameson's and be witty. It would be sexie like sexie has never previously been.

In case you were wondering-I've done fuck all with re-doing the portfolio. Dead to Me said that I would be sent an list of what I need to do. But that hasn't happened so I haven't done anything with that waste of time and trees.

Great. So that's what's going on. I'm going to watch SNL now.Even Coupland is avoiding me now. He's embarassed.