God is a concept by which we measure our pain

In which a typical rant and babble gets surprisingly serious....

Being as I have no life I was browsing the blogs of the underclass. Amusing at times and sorrow inducing at others since I distinctly remember this time last year I was so entrenched in desperation as to have little hope for any future that didn't involve a mental ward. All I had to do was work another month and a half and I'd have health insurance so I could "afford" the breakdown. How I managed to avoid that is one of the great mysteries of life as I have decided it is best understood. Should this need further explanation-consider it a branch of that popular GenX religion Me-ism.
(WARNING-I'm going to talk about religion be afraid.)
Of late I have really started to doubt the new age-y, the spirits are in the trees, hail the goddess mentality that I feel was the underlying tenet of what little belief I was raised with. That's sort of empty in the end and I've been drifting away from the familial fold toward being more mainstream in my belief structure---or I think I have-pardon me I have to go fill out the Belief-o-Matic to see what I believe...Well, I am sure we are all shocked and awed that I am 100% Mainline Liberal Protestant (ie Episcopalian, Anglican, Lutheran--you know all the real party religions.) Second at 87% is Liberal Quakers (another party faith I tell you what), and B'ahai Faith and Unitarians forming a committee to discuss how to raise my score so as I can join their well organized belief group. I'm just going to join the one that features the most coffee and pie. This, I believe means Episcopalian or Lutheran---were I to actually get ito organization. I don't think I'm there yet-I don't want church-I want something to hold onto. An angel from Montgomery line with mine. It is not necessary for someone to agree with me totally in order for me to be able to appreciate that person's company. It's nice, but it's not the most crucial element. The problem I am facing is the other person-this person has shown certain tendencies--things that are upsetting and that I find distasteful and directly in opposition not only with what I think is the way human beings should treat other humans but I feel this persons opinions are (tho inadvertent) actually value judgements against me.
It's no secret that I am poor. I'm so broke that I'm robbing Bartholomew to pay Matthius cuz all the more popular apostles are tapped out. I have gone to quite a lot of length to be able to survive the last year. Lengths that are not things I thought I would ever have to go through. Things that make me ashamed but also make me able to continue to live. Everything I am doing is necessary-I am not living above my means any more than I have no means so any manner of life is above that. If I didn't have the support I wouldn't have lights...much less the second hand washer and the not yet paid for dryer and my half of the cable and my station wagon would've broke down one day when I didn't have any money to fix it and if it weren't for my parents help I wouldn't have my truck. It is because of the help I get that I am able to be as successful as I am. I am an independent, hardworking woman despite all that.
The person by whom I am employed that I am having a problem with hates poor people. Blanket statement. He hates poor people-he can't stand to see them, to be around them or that they are allowed to frequent public areas that a moneyed individual, is able to frequent. The goal of the person, Iwould go so far as to say dream, is to make poor people invisible if not gone entirely. The talk that I hear about this topic upsets me deeply. It extends from the poor to the disabled, to anyone that is not as well to do (or flagrant in the weilding of credit cards).
Wow---I had to edit this post because for some reason that kind of freaks me out and makes no sense as I understand sense to make halfway through a sentence I linked to and quoted a blog that is in a language I have never seen and couldn't even begin to guess what it might've been.
So I'm going to stop on this topic. Because that was weird.