The Truth Files

Stephen Colbert/Daily Show Love. House, Hugh Laurie, Black Adder, BritCom obsessiveness. Eddie Izzard quoting ad naseum. Self loathing. Other people loathing. Anything else I can loathe-fit that in there too. Tales of alcohol and dogs. The occassional night at the bar causing trouble. Mis-treating brain cells...Who needs them? No sex. No drugs-usually. Much rock'n'roll. Just trying to survive in 615. Y'know. The usual.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Jealous? You should be

Today was "Fried Chicken Day" at the bucks. Course, as you can imagine we were all real damn excited. Cuz-you know-fried chicken- that's exciting. We were all hungry as hell by the time we got our chicken (from KFC, tho I had expressed earlier that I thought better chicken was to be had at Church's-also okra...mmmm...okra....but no one listens to me so whatever) We had all said that it was essential we had biscuits. Everyone loves biscuits and they have to be good for you-if only from a soul stand point. One must feed the soul after all. We sent hipster young'un because he had to go to the bank or something of that nature. I dunno-personally I think all errands should be run by me but that's because I think I am best at errand running and not at all prone to wandering off and spending 3 or 7 hours being distracted while getting paid. But, whatever, I get paid almost enough to live semi-like normal people as long as the dole holds out---thank you Being for the dole I can't even begin to say how different life is now that every dime isn't going to surviving. And I think I'm in a better mood most of the time since I'm not living on peanut butter sandwiches and potatoes. Also I have extra change to put toward fried chicken night.
So we're all standing around-talking about how much fried chicken we're going to eat and what sides we need and all the biscuits going to have. If this was on TV people would write angry letters to the station. Stereotypical shite. Real funny too.
Anyhoo-the chicken rolls in. Two buckets and two sides. The sides are effin skimpy for one thing. Like there was enough potatoes for me but I had to split 'em with three other people. So I didn't get nearly the tators I would've liked.
We all flocked back for out dinner. I still had the headset on while set into that poor bird like I ain't seen food in decades. The lot of us were like that---ripping meat off the bone stuffing potatoes into our mouths it musta been some kinda unpleasant vision. 4 healthy young people gnawing at grease soaked lousy fried chicken like we'd just broken a hunger strike. We really ordered too much food. We must've had 30 pieces of chicken. For 4 of us! Well, about 5 minutes our joy moved to sorrow as we got all full and semi-naseous. Probably the nausea was because damn KFC didn't give us any effin biscuits. I'd said I wanted biscuits! Don't come back without biscuits! And didn't that boy come back without biscuits. Dammit. That's why we all felt so like crap--we needed biscuit goodness is why.
We ate and ate and we were just too freakin full and there was an 8 piece box left. So I packed me some lunch and B and JD and Z spread the word that much fried chicken was to be had please eat it so we didn't feel obligated to purge and go back and eat more. The lot of us walking around moaning-"Why did we buy so much fried chicken? What made us think we needed $40 worth of fried chicken? Who ate all the potatoes? Next time we don't buy so much fried chicken--more sides, less chicken. Damn, that's a lot of chicken."
It was really funny at the time---all the chicken all that grease all the money we spent and we couldn't barely make a dent. There are starving people on Broadway but we're gorging on fried chicken at the ghettobucks. Hoo! It was silly.

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